I'm transgender, meaning I don't identify with my assigned gender and sex at birth. I use she/her pronouns. I'm femme through and through, and have been living outwardly as my true self for the better part of a decade after a life of trying to be invisible. Transitioning is the best decision I've ever made, and it became the foundation for flipping my entire life right side up.

While I have some outstanding transition goals, I don't need to worry anymore about my natural testosterone levels, or things like shaving, which both caused me tons of dysphoria. Overall I'm really proud of my journey, and it's a core part of who I am. It's been years since anyone, including strangers, have seen me as anything other than a woman - and that makes me profoundly happy.

I'm sapphic, meaning I'm primarily attracted to feminine gender expressions and I often refer to myself as a lesbian.

I'm also demiromantic and demisexual, meaning my romantic and sexual attractions hinge on a strong emotional bond. For the longest time, especially growing up and being quite naive, I thought this was just how everyone was - turns out that is very much not the case. :-)

I was scared to be seen by the world for a long time, and regrettably I faced a lot of backlash and hatred from former family, friends, and others for choosing to do so. It doesn't mean I regret my decisions, but it does mean that there's a lot of work left to be done in our world so that those who are queer in one way or another can live fully and happily.

As human beings we need social bonds, community, and to be accepted as ourselves to feel safe and fulfilled - it's programmed into us. And so, when the consequences for being who you are strip those things away from you, it takes a lot of effort just to survive and heal.

If you're new to all this, there are a couple important things to keep in mind. First, we don't choose our gender identities or who we're attracted to and how. Our understandings and self-actualizations may change how this all looks over the course of our lives, but the core of who we are with respect to them does not.

Second, like a lot of what society tells us about ourselves, each other, and how the world works, the "default" understandings of sex, gender, and sexuality are needlessly hierarchical, restrictive, and reductive to the point of losing any nuance. Being authentic underpins our ability to live our best lives, and so I believe it's best we allot ourselves and one another the understanding and compassion to be who we really are.